The last post

This will be my last post on this Blog. For many reasons my life has and will change incredibly over the last weeks. And it will change even more in the coming months and years. It has changed so much that the title I had for this blog has become more and more irrelevant.

So I have started a new blog.

If you want to know , then ask and I will tell where to find it.

In the mean time I ask that you pray for me. Pray for me and my wife and son as things tumble and change around us. Pray for God's grace and mercy and His love to to keep us safe and close to Him.

Thank you to those who have read my blogs and hung in with my gripes and bitching and moaning. May God bless you all.

Hanno

On the mend

I have been back in theater yesterday where they drained the abscess again.

And I must say , things are looking slightly better today. I am not in so much pain and I can nearly walk normally again.

This is just as well , as I am self employed and I have not worked or earned any money for about a month now. The bills are pilling up and I seriously need to get some work in , so I can sort all of this out.

So pray that I will heal quickly from here on and pray that I will be able to raise an income shortly. Ant thank God for the fact that He looked after me , and that at least he hospital bill seems to be sorted out. Now I just need to pay the dr's . But God has been good to me. Thank Him for that.

I am sick in bed

It started a month ago. I felt a pain in my groin and my testicles were sore. I stuck it out until thursday when the pain and discomfort really got me worried.

Made an appointment and went to see the dr. who diagnosed me with a prostate infection. He gave me some antibiotics and sent me home.

I went home and over the rest of the week and the weekend , things got progressively worse. Monday morning saw me back in the surgery. Dr took a look and referred me to a surgeon. The surgeon took a look and told me that an abcess was forming in my scrotum and that i should take other antibiotics and come see him on Wednesday.

By Wednesday my scrotum was swollen to the size of two large Avo's and you would have been hard pressed to cover it all with a decent sized pudding bowl. And the pain was excruciating.

So the dr makes a call to the medical aid and gets authorization to book me into the private hospital do an op.

To make a long story longer, the medical aid is under administration and they phone back to say that the authorization is cancelled. Back and forth we argue until eventually the surgeon books me into theater for an op in the provincial hospital.

After the op to drain the abcess I stay in hospital for a week. Then I stay in bed at home for a week.

And now I am still very sore and very swollen , and if things do not change over the weekend I will have to go back to the surgeon on monday to see if they can help me.

In the mean time I can not work and I have had to give photoshoots away. I have a very lucrative shoot coming up on Saturday and I really need the money, so let us hope and pray that things clear up and I heal before Saturday.

McGuyver the Human , I mean cat.

I decided to post a picture of my cat on the cameraforum. This is a copy of the post that I made there.

Took the living room curtains and draped them over a pillow on my desk.
Then setup a 550 ex flash on a stand to camera right and pointed it up
at the ceiling.

went and fetched cat. put cat on pillow. stroke cat. leave cat and pick up camera.
put down camera and fetch cat from under livingroom couch.

Put
cat on pillow. stroke cat. pick up camera while stroking cat. Fire of a
couple of out of focus photos so cat can get used to camera.

kneel to photograph cat. put down camera. Fetch cat from under master bedroom bed. Put cat on pillow. Stroke cat.

kneel to photograph cat. put down camera. fetch cat from under dining table. Put cat on pillow. Stroke cat.

kneel to photograph cat.

get of two photos of which one is out of focus.

leave cat to run away and give up.

So for all my trouble I have one pic of my cat. But the thing is , he is surely my cat. although Alet and Jaco are tolerated it is me that he is after. He gets into bed under the blankets and crawls in as close as he can to my body. And then he does not move.

and moans if I move him. all in all a very cute cat with bucket loads of character

Spam emails

Recently I have been receiving about two spam emails a day trying to sell me something to enhance my manhood.

Every time the emails arrive with a different sender address and email title.

Both the name and title seem to be words selected at random.

So today I received one with a title called : promiscuous hymnist

And I just had to laugh.

But then I thought. Wouldn't this be a cool title for a blog. or website ?

The question however is : What would a promiscuous hymnist be ? Someone who write lots of different hymns ?

Or someone who writes the same hymn in different styles ?

I am not of the Hymn writing fraternity so I would leave this to someone who is.

My life at the moment..

I am not in a good place at the moment.

I am depressed and not in the mood to do anything. The problem is that this is not the state of mind for someone who works for themselves to be in.

and so everything in my life suffers.

My spiritual life suffers. My relationships with people suffers. My health suffers.

and I am not enjoying being me at the moment.

Pray that this will change. Pray that I will be able to lift my head an carry on.

Who am I ??

One more song that really speaks to me

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.


I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

Song : Who am I
Artist : Cating Crowns

Sometimes

Sometimes when I feel good about myself , God , the world and all else then I want to sing this :

I wish I could crash like the waves
Or turn like the autumn leaves
In effort to praise You

I wish I could smell like the forest
The fragrance lifting a mighty chorus
In effort to praise You
In effort to praise You

Chorus:
But I’m such a limited creature
And my word can only paint so many pictures
But somewhere I think I read that I am

Treasured over all creation
So I know that I must try

I wish I could roll like the thunder
To leave the earth below in wonder
In effort to praise You

I wish I could fall like the summer rain
And every drop would sing Your name
In effort to praise You
In effort to praise You

Gloria, glory in the highest
Forever I will hide myself in Thee

Every breath that I breathe
Every moment in my history

Is an effort to praise You
An effort to praise You

Glory in the highest
Forever I will hide myself in Thee

Oh, Gloria
Glory in excelsis deo

Gloria, gloria, gloria
Gloria, gloria, gloria

The trick is, I guess, to be able to sing this also when I do not feel like this.

Listen to this song here

Song details are :
Gloria
By: Watermark
Album: Watermark
c 1997 Rocketown Music/Sweater Weather Music/ASCAP

More of Jon

I sat and read some more of Jon's stuff.

I love the honesty. I love the challenges it makes me face in my life.

look at this : The rumors about me

or this one :We are the wild places.

if you read nothing else then read this post : Michael Jordan and the Prodigal Son and Me.

Three great new blogs I have found

I am not going to say much, I would much rather that these blogs speak for themselves. In my random surfings (using a nice firefox addon called STUMBLE) I have 'stumbled' accros these 3 blogs written by the same christian guy.

Go take a look

Stuff Cristians like

97 Seconds with God

The Prodigal Jon


brilliant stuff - go take a look

Backsliding

It is really amazing how quickly I am capable of losing focus and sliding away from God.

Two weeks ago I was telling my homegroup how I was doing better than ever in my spiritual life and here I am realizing that I have really screwed up and neglected my relationship with God terribly.

And the problem is that it is so difficult to go back and ask forgivingness - again. and again

Not because God is incapable of forgiveness ,but because I struggle to see Him as a loving and caring God who want's to forgive.

I have been busy

In the recent time since my last blog things have been happening rather quickly.

The Photography club that I started in Uitenhage was a huge success.

Some of the clubmembers started posting on the Cameraschool forum that I had on my website

This has since grown and moved to its own website called www.cameraforum.co.za

This means that I have had to start yet another website of my own.

I now manage 5 of my own excluding the blogs.

I must be a sucker for punishment.

I started a blog for my son

My son turned 7 this weekend and I started a blog to post the pictures to.

You can view the blog here

The Methodist church of SA

In a TV commercial for a Audi A3 Sportback the voice over states "I live by Ghandi and Learn by google".

Now while I personally would rather live by Jesus, I do agree that my generation certainly learns by Google. If there is any piece of information that I am looking for, my first attempt to find the info I need is by Google.

And so, wanting to post about the Methodist Church of SA and it's newspaper (the New Dimension) I decided to try and do some research before I open my big mouth. Imagine my surprise at not being able to find one half decent website with some info I can use.

Let us list my searches quickly.

• Save one PDF document about the state of the 'New Dimension', I could find nothing about the New Dimension. No Website. No Email address or contact details. nada. zip. I did find a 2006 post by Digital Dion wanting to post cartoons in the New dimension. And that was still on page one of Google.

• The official MCSA website has buggerall relevant or new on it's site. It has no links to New Dimension.
  

Ok, So what is the bee in my bonnet about the MCSA and New Dimension?

MCSA first :

I am really worried about the state of my Church (the Methodist Church of SA). I am really worried about the fact that a lot of the 'good' white ministers are leaving, the church and or the ministry.

I am really worried about the leadership of my church. I am worried about the fact that the top structure seems to be getting heavier. And that the church seems to be forever looking for new ways to fund this heavy top structure.

I am worried about the strugles for power and the corruption within my church. What ??? Corruption ?? In the Church ??? Please don't insult me by saying that there is no corruption in the church. We all know it is there. Ministers who supposedly don't get stipends, but drive around in fancy German cars. Societies who can not pay their assesments , but whose ministers get R40 000 going away gifts.

I am worried about the fact that white student ministers get suspended or discontinued for trivial matters while black ministers who are not nearly of the same caliber get pushed through the system. In fact , I am worried about the training of our ministers.

And this is where I feel The New Dimension should have come into play.

As a newspaper I feel that the Dimension should have been there to expose the corruption and power struggles. The Dimension should have been there to ask questions about training and ask questions as to why some very good ministers are leaving the church. But alas... "He who pays the piper , calls the tune."

Maybe mr, Stone (editor New Dimension) there is a reason why your reader numbers have fallen from 26000 to 11000. Maybe it is because people don't believe what you are telling them. Maybe it is because your reporting is so obviously biased.

And so , after this long rant , I am still worried about my church. And I wonder when the church is going to split. I wonder when the 'alternate Methodist church' will break away from the mainstream power and money hungry church.

If the alternate Methodist church breaks away , I will be among the first to approve. I suspect that most of the ministers will be white. Ministers who care for the people and who want to get the work done. I suspect that most of the members will be of all races. And please.... This is not a race thing. But it will separate those who are in the ministry because of the calling to care for the people from those who are in the ministry because of the calling of power and status and money.

Please pray for my church. And pray for the ministers who are trying desperately to do God's work in a structure that has long ago missed the true calling of church.

Windows ME

Are you a Pharisee ?

I recieved this in my email this morning from aDevotion.org and I thought it tied in a bit with what Pete said on his blog recently. Although , I disagree with Pete on his view of the passage he used, I do agree that God is a God of grace and that all men will be judged fairly.

This is not my writing , but I share the idea :

" MATTHEW 16:6,12 NKJ
6 Then Jesus said to them, "Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the Sadducees."
12 Then they understood that He did not tell them to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

Why did Jesus warn His disciples to beware of the Pharisees?
What did they do wrong?

(An entire chapter of the Bible (Matthew 23) is Jesus' teaching against the Pharisees.)

The Pharisees were conservative, faithful "church" members.
They accepted the Bible as the written Word of God. They paid tithes. They believed in miracles (at least in days past). They wouldn't dream of stealing, committing adultery, or such things. You would like living next to a Pharisee as they were model citizens.

But instead of having a living relationship with God, the Pharisees took the Word of God and made just another dead religion out of it.

The Pharisee way of thinking is: keep up appearances. "It doesn't matter so much what you are on the inside, as long as you keep the rules (at least publicly)."

Notice that Jesus likened their teaching to leaven, or yeast.
Why? Yeast spreads easily and rapidly. Humans are very susceptible to approaching God in this manner, "Keep the rules.
Just do these 10 things and you are OK."

Different groups may have different rules, but we all accumulate them. It may be how many times each week you must attend church meetings, or what kind of clothes you must wear, or how you must wear your hair. Or, it may be a list of things you cannot do. But, as long as you meet these requirements, you are in good standing with your group (or denomination).

But, good standing with God is based on only one thing according to the New Testament: faith in what Jesus did for us.
That alone is what makes us right with God. Not our works, but Jesus' work.

LUKE 12:1 NKJ
1 ... He began to say to His disciples first of all, "Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.

The Pharisees were hypocrites. That is, they put on an act.
What they pretended to be in public was not really what they were like in private. They claimed to be perfect in keeping God's law, but as humans they were all sinners, just like the rest of the people were. Yet, in public, they insisted that others keep the Law perfectly, or be condemned.

They were quick to pass judgment on others, and slow to extend mercy or help. The Pharisees had a legalistic view of God's Word and did not realize that God was merciful and wanted to help people.

2 CORINTHIANS 3:6 NKJ
6 who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Using God's Word to "kill" instead of using it to minister life is wrong. God's Word is meant to help people and lift them up, not place such hard demands on them that they cannot ever measure up. When we load people down with heavy loads of rules to keep in order to be right with God, we are ministers of death.

MATTHEW 23:1-5 NLT
1 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples,
2 "The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses.
3 So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don't follow their example. For they don't practice what they teach.
4 They crush people with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.
5 "Everything they do is for show. . . .

If your "Christianity" is nothing more than a list of "do's and don't's" then you are missing real Christianity, which is a living relationship with Jesus Christ. "

a little plagiarism

I couldn't resist copying this.

comes from a website called www.craigslist.org

;o)

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the
flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away
on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females
should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less
attention to the flashy boys.



1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of
10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands?
Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not
call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.



2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f
who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that
plugs into a wall behave itself.



3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their
idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the
reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and
such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your
friends.



4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from.
You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are.
You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.



5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?




6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such,
especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their
neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more
options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend,
they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do
once they GOT a girlfriend.



7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve
friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around.
They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about
sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all)
coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.



8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on
pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if
you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?



9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You
won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on
with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around
under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t
have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10
times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest
electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.

Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”


Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”


Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*


Geek Guy: “What?”


Me: “Never mind...”




10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can
arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf
princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to
go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up
to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a
sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s
used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.



11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more
likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that
ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too
and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and,
more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan
to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single
girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and
get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can
hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).



12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be
yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty
t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy
if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair.
If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel
like crap.



13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like.
See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok
maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk
about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the
local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...



14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop
out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use
correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the
toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have
to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on
the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...



15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great
boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look
(though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up
you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of
thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

I am doing webdesign now

That's right .On top of teaching Photography and being a photographer I also do webdesign now.

I have started another website where I advertise myself as a webdesigner. This came after I found a very nice piece of webdesign software and designed 3 sites for myself and one for a friend.

Please go and check out the website www.perfectsolutions.co.za and punt me to everyone you know that may need a website.

I found another SA company who does the same thing as me and they charge R1250 per month for 12 months.

So I do think that my prices are more than reasonable.

;o)

I am chuffed

In the past two weeks I have been learning a new 'skill' .And what an incredibly steep learning curve it has been.

I have really spent time and effort in learning how to manage a new website Content management system called Joomla.

You can view the fruit's of my labours here and here

I am also setting up my fourth website called perfectsolutions.co.za that will advertise myself as a website construction agent.

;o)

The things I Believe

In the past weeks or so , I battled with prayer , and what I can and can not pray for. And I came to realize that I can only pray for the things that I believe .

Things that I believe to be true of God. And things that I believe about the nature of God. And so I want to list them here. This will however not be an exhaustive list of all the things I believe , but of the things I can think of right now. I will also add to this list as time progresses and I learn more about God.

so here we go.

I believe that :

• God loves me
• Jesus died on the cross and was raised again.
• Jesus' death and resurrection was necessary to redeem me from my sins
• God knows me better than I know myself and that He only wants what is best for me
  
• living in God's will and in His plan is the only way to be truly happy.
• God wants me to have a happy and fulfilled marriage.
• as the Author and designer of sex , God wants me to have a happy and fulfilled sex life
• God wants to meet my needs and care for me , also wen it comes to earning a living.

There are many more things , but these are the things that I can think of now, and these are the things that I can pray for and from God.

• 
  

One more

And so with the previous post still fresh in my mind I received this email from the same people today. One would think that God is trying to drive home a point.

It is just SO DIFFICULT not to worry.



Cast Your Cares

1 PETER 5:7 Amplified
7 Casting the whole of your care -- all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all -- on Him; for He cares for you affectionately, and cares about you watchfully.

God is not just mildly interested in you. He cares for you just as a good mother cares for her infant child -- affectionately and watchfully.

Would it be reasonable for a well-loved infant to worry?
Neither is it reasonable for you to worry when God loves you and has promised to take care of you.

To worry you must believe one of two lies: God can't take care of you, or God won't take care of you.

PHILIPPIANS 4:6 NRSV
6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Worry is not appropriate for a child of God.

SAY THIS: I throw all my cares on God because He cares for me.

Let us set the score straight

Unusual for me I actually subscribed to one of those - a verse a day - websites.

And so for the past few days I have been receiving bible verses and devotions in my email once a day.

And this evening I received this devotion in my inbox and it made think of a post that I posted a short while back .

And I guess that this devotion is an answer to that question. and so I need to post this in order to set the record straight. As difficult as it is for me to believe (and more so in my current circumstances) Jesus does care about me. And also about the small things. And so I pray that God will come to my aid soon. That He will show me the way and open the doors so I can earn a living again.

I am sorry Jesus for my doubts. I am sorry that I like Peter see the waves and hear the wind and that I get scared and that I start to doubt. Save me .... Save me..

Here follows the email as I have received it.



Jesus Understands

HEBREWS 4:15 NKJ
15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Whatever you face, Jesus Christ has already faced it.

Jesus knows what it is like:

to be hungry
to be tired
to be lonely
to be hurt
to be hated
to be beaten
to be persecuted
to be misunderstood
to be mistreated
to be mocked and laughed at
to be betrayed by a friend
to be tempted to sin
to be responsible for employees
to feel forsaken
to feel hopeless
to have no spouse
to have no earthly father there to help
to have lost a loved one
to have to pay taxes
to have money stolen from you
to have the responsibility to provide for a family to live under an oppressive government to experience extreme pain

HEBREWS 4:16 NKJ
16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Don't be afraid to talk to Jesus about anything. Not only does He understand, but He knows how to help you so you can overcome and have victory.

Remember, Jesus loves you -- enough to die for you. And He also ever lives to intercede for you.

So Jesus not only understands what you face, but He is able and willing to help you.

SAY THIS: Jesus understands what I am going through and is leading me to victory.

Do I always just complain ?

It feels as if I only want to blog when things are going bad and when I am down. Looking back through the posts I realize that this is not quite the case , but that I do have a tendency to complain on the blog more than I would in real life.

But first .... about the bird.

The picture above is of a brownhooded kingfisher. (or so says my bird book). I have seen this guy sitting on the same branch every evening at sunset a few times before. So last night my son rushes into the house to tell us that we should come and take a look at the 'most beautiful bird he has ever seen'. I went to fetch my camera and came back to find mr. and mrs. kingfisher sitting int the tree. They allowed me quite close and I got a few nice pics.

Die burger is running a wildlife photography competition that I hope to enter. We will have to wait and see how that goes.

I wanted to complain again on the blog now , but I just realized that it would be a waste of time. It is not as if anyone reading this would be able to do anything about my complaints. So I will not.

I will ask this though of any who read this. Please pray for me. And my family. Pray that I will be blessed in the new cameraschool venture that I am undertaking. Pray that it will allow me the financial income I so desperately need while still being able to be my wife's helper in her ministry. I believe that I have a role to play in my wife's ministry , even if it is only to try and keep the house clean and look after our son.

And pray for me that I will get to know God better. That I will deepen in spiritual life and understanding and that I will find my place in His kingdom where I can serve Him.

In general , please pray for me and my wife and my son.

And speaking of prayer :pray for my prayer life. Maybe this is why I am asking all of you to pray for me. Because I really battle to pray to God at the moment. I am trying..... but the ceiling is hard.

MAy God bless all of you who read this.

Cameraschool

I have updated my Cameraschool webpage and I hope to get the whole cameraschool going as soon as possible.

In fact I already have 2 weekly students with 2 more on the way shortly. I am just waiting for the Schools to open and then I will try to get cameraschool classes in some of the schools in Uitanhege as well

In the greater scheme of things

I have been wondering :

In the greater scheme of things of God's majesty and might , what does my little insignificant life with my insignificant problems matter to God.

How can I, in this time of Easter, pray for my little problems or for things that influence my happiness if their are such greater and worthier things to pray for. What is my happiness or my life worth compared to the salvation of the world. Why should God care about my puny (maybe selfish) problems?

Clearing the Temple

I realize that I actually need to post one extra post about what happened to us in the last two months and how God led us to be where we are now.It is a rather long and remarkable story. Let me just however say at the moment that my wife got the Job as Youth Pastor( Does that make me Mev jeug pastoor now?) and that we are settled in in Uitenhage,.

Last night( as every Sunday night) we had a youth evening service. At this service we have about 100 young people between 13 and 25 who come to worship. Well that is the problem . About 50 of them are there to worship. The other 50 sit around, listen (or try to because the music is loud) to their Ipods , or talk (scream) to each other while the worship team is trying to lead the rest in worship.

And I for one find it extremely annoying and distracting. Last night , as with the previous Sunday, I had to really bite my tongue and stop myself from not chasing and dragging those kids out of the church.

This morning in my quiet time I read amongst other things , how Jesus cleared them temple and said :"It is written in the Scriptures that God said, 'My Temple will be called a house of prayer.' But you are making it a hideout for thieves!" (Matt 21:13 GNB)

And this is essentially what these kids are doing. They are robbing other people , and themselves, of an opportunity to draw near to God. They are acting like they are more important than the other people who want to worship. They are acting like they are more important than God.

And so , maybe I should chase them out next Sunday. Problem is , it is not my job to do so . And making a scene would probably not help either.

But , this needs to stop. They are spoiling what could be a very meaningful experience for a lot of people by their arrogant and selfish behavior.

WOW !!

Last night we had some spectacular thunderstorms in the area. Here are a couple of pics.

Goetertjie

Since we moved into our new house in Uitenhage about a month ago we have been sharing our home with these little guys. We seem to have at least one of them in every room. I have gotten so used to them that I invariably look up at the ceiling when I enter a room to see where they are.

My wife and I have started to call them "goetertjies" which translated to English would probably be translated as " thingy" .

This afternoon my wife rescued one in her office from the dog who wanted to play with it , and after some trouble i got this one to pose for a couple of photos.

so here you go :

Weekend away

I spent a part of this weekend with my brother who is a ranger at Shamwari Game Reserve near Alicedale in the Eastern Cape.

Here are some of the pics I took this morning.

update

I have not blogged in a while. sorry.... Well actually I have , but in my other blog.

Anyway after driving all the way to Cape Town and failing to get to talk to anybody (except Pete who helped in a different way) who could help, we left one car in Cape town and drove all the way to Uitenhage for my wife to have an interview. The interview went ok, but since the panel could not give us an answer because they still have one more inteview to do, we were left hanging with no real place to go.

Cape Town is flippen far to drive to , only to come back in a weeks time. Apart from that we had nowhere to go really and so we rented a flat until the end of the month.

And so this morning my son went to school for his first day in grade 1, even though we are not sure if we are going to stay. The thing is that we all just needed some stability and a place to come home to at night.

And so now we wait on God. We wait for Him to show us where to go. We wait for him to open the door. We wait and pray and wonder at will happen to us next week.

And so continue to pray for us please.

Pray that God's will be done and that my wife will find a job in the ministry. Pray that I will find work to do soon. Pray for our finances - The end of the month is looming and I have a heck of a lot of bills to pay with no money in my account (thus the need for work).

And thank God for keeping us safe thus far. Thank Him for supplying in our needs.

;o)

Dis nag

When I look at all that needs to happen in what I am guessing to be the next week I feel totally overwhelmed.

Here is what I see when I look at what needs to happen.

My wife is basically unemployed. This means that she will not receive any salary at the end of January. I do not have any money available with very little (about R1000) coming to me by end of January. We are both committed to paying our usual monthly bills.

We need to find a house/townhouse to rent before the 16th. We need to pay a deposit for the house/townhouse as well as the first month's rent. At the moment , looking at prices on the net , it seems that we will need to pay about R4500/pm for housing. This means that on top of it all we need to earn R4500 per month more than we did up to now.

All of this comes down to one thing. We on our own will not be able to make it. I can not see a way out. And so , if God does not pull a very, very big rabbit out of a very small hat , we are screwed !!!

;o|

of blogs and names

Because my wife has lost her title as minister I now have a problem. because that means that I am officially no longer mev. dominee.

The question now is, do I change the name of this blog to something else, or do i keep the name in the faith that my wife will one day be able to resume her calling as minister ?

My little faith

O well, as you may have guessed from the fairly incoherent post this afternoon , my wife's appeal against her discontinuation was unsuccessful. One point of light is that she would be allowed to re candidate immediately and that after the two year candidature period , in which she will be able to finish her studies, she will hopefully be allowed to re-enter the ministry where she was now forced to leave off.

I have no doubt in my mind that my wife needs to be in ministry. The problem now is to find her a job where she can be in ministry and be able to finish her studies.

A photographer friend of mine in Capetown has asked me to come and work for/with him as an assistant photographer in his business. He's business has grown to the point where he can not cope with the work load and I am sure that I will be able to help him grow the business further.

But here come the problems.

1. we need to find a job for my wife in cape town area where she can be in ministry.
2. We need to find a place to stay. Up to this point we have stayed in a manse supplied by the church. This now falls away, unless by a miracle from God the new job includes housing.
3. We need to find a school for my son who needs to start school on the 16th if we move to the cape, or the 9th if we stay here.
4. We need to pack our belongings and move within the next week.
5. We need to arrange the move.
6. We need money.. my wife will not receive any income at the end of this month. I will not earn much either with packing and moving etc. We need to pay school fees for my son. We need to pay a months lease as well as a deposit on a place to stay. Wen eed fuel to get ourselves and our cars to capetown. We need to pay the normal bills and buy food and other essentials.

In short .. we need a long list of miracles to happen in a fairly short space of time. And all I can do is look to God and pray. because the way I see it all of this is hopeless. But I want to believe that with God all things are possible. And I want to believe that He can still bring some good out of all the pain and chaos.

So pray for us. we sure need all the prayer and support we can get.

God help me to focus on you. Help me to know that with you all things are possible. You know that if I look at all that needs to happen and if I look at all the uncertainties than I feel totally overwhelmed. Please Father, look after us and keep us in your will. Keep us safe an guide us out of this. Please don't kill my last small bit of faith. I am hanging on , but only just.

...?

:o|

and now....?

I believed. i really did. I was convinced in my heart that God would hear our prayers and that the presiding bishop would grant my wife's appeal.

I believed that God would show us a way out of this.

and now ?

My third post today.....

I am really desperate for answers. I see the drain, the strain and the pain on my wife's face. I see the tears in her eyes and there is nothing more that I can do but pray.

I still firmly believe that God will come to my wife's aid and that He will provide a way for her to continue her ministry. I can also not believe that God would have brought us through the past 6 years of ministry and training , only to have all of that flushed down the loo because of a couple of idiots playing political games in the church.

I have a job opportunity in George and if my wife could also get a job , preferably in the ministry then we would at least have somewhere to go.
All I am hoping for is that God will answer our prayers and allow us to move to George and start afresh there. I am praying that the presiding bishop will allow my wife to finish her studies and become ordained.

I know that my wife has done nothing so severe as to deserve the treatment she is receiving (and that from people who call themselves followers of Jesus). At worst she has worked to hard at her ministry and let her academics slide a bit. The other thing she has done, and the one that I believe to be the big issue, is that she has treated the gay and lesbian people in our community with grace and compassion and that she has not doomed them to Hell like some of the church leaders would have wanted.

Father, we are in your hands. Please come to our aid.

Please .........

Psalms 35

Psa 35:1-28
(1) Oppose those who oppose me, LORD, and fight those who fight against me!
(2) Take your shield and armor and come to my rescue.
(3) Lift up your spear and war ax against those who pursue me. Promise that you will save me.
(4) May those who try to kill me be defeated and disgraced! May those who plot against me be turned back and confused!
(5) May they be like straw blown by the wind as the angel of the LORD pursues them!
(6) May their path be dark and slippery while the angel of the LORD strikes them down!
(7) Without any reason they laid a trap for me and dug a deep hole to catch me.
(8) But destruction will catch them before they know it; they will be caught in their own trap and fall to their destruction!
(9) Then I will be glad because of the LORD; I will be happy because he saved me.
(10) With all my heart I will say to the LORD, "There is no one like you. You protect the weak from the strong, the poor from the oppressor."
(11) Evil people testify against me and accuse me of crimes I know nothing about.
(12) They pay me back evil for good, and I sink in despair.
(13) But when they were sick, I dressed in mourning; I deprived myself of food; I prayed with my head bowed low,
(14) as I would pray for a friend or a brother. I went around bent over in mourning, as one who mourns for his mother.
(15) But when I was in trouble, they were all glad and gathered around to make fun of me; strangers beat me and kept striking me.
(16) Like those who would mock a cripple, they glared at me with hate.
(17) How much longer, Lord, will you just look on? Rescue me from their attacks; save my life from these lions!
(18) Then I will thank you in the assembly of your people; I will praise you before them all.
(19) Don't let my enemies, those liars, gloat over my defeat. Don't let those who hate me for no reason smirk with delight over my sorrow.
(20) They do not speak in a friendly way; instead they invent all kinds of lies about peace-loving people.
(21) They accuse me, shouting, "We saw what you did!"
(22) But you, O LORD, have seen this. So don't be silent, Lord; don't keep yourself far away!
(23) Rouse yourself, O Lord, and defend me; rise up, my God, and plead my cause.
(24) You are righteous, O LORD, so declare me innocent; don't let my enemies gloat over me.
(25) Don't let them say to themselves, "We are rid of him! That's just what we wanted!"
(26) May those who gloat over my suffering be completely defeated and confused; may those who claim to be better than I am be covered with shame and disgrace.
(27) May those who want to see me acquitted shout for joy and say again and again, "How great is the LORD! He is pleased with the success of his servant."
(28) Then I will proclaim your righteousness, and I will praise you all day long.

my prayer

As i am writing this i am sitting in church waiting for the service to begin.

And i have very mixed emotions about being here . I am sitting behind the mixer , doing the sound and data projection for a church that has technically fired my wife as their minister.

The interesting thing is that the people who fired her did not have the power to do so. But now we have to wait for the presiding bishop to come back from leave before we can hope to seek restitution.

And as i sit here, all i can do is pray:

Father God. All i can do is believe that you are still in control. I can only pray that you will forgive the people who are destroying your church, and that in your name. I pray Lord that you will look after my wife and our family. Keep us safe, in your love.

Lord i know that my wife is a very good minister and that she does not stand guilty before you. I pray that you in your mighty power and love will allow her ministry to continue.

I pray that you will open the door for us to move away from this hurtful place. Please Lord grant that the presiding bishop will find in my wife's favour so that she will be able to continue and be ordained.

I did, I did..........

I got a new blog. sorry can't tell you where.

I am expecting to blog there , a lot more than here, but i will try to keep this one going as well.

maybe one day I will link to the new one from here, but for now .......... I don't think so.

Pray for me as I need to make some radical changes in my life. Pray that I will turn into the man , husband , father, follower of Jesus that God needs me and wants me to be.

;o)

I need a new blog

An anonymous one where no one knows me , where i can rant and rave and bitch without upsetting the people who know me.

But will it help ?

I am so f%cking frustrated i can scream !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to blog, but i have nothing to say

A friend sent me this SMS earlier today :

• Dankie aan almal wat my die beste toegewens het vir die jaar 2007. Ek wil net noem dat dit fokol gehelp het. So vir 2008 aanvaar ek slegs kontant, bees agterkwarte, heel lammers, free range hoenders, Yokohama tyres, petrolkaarte, Captain morgan en coke. Baie dankie

This probably sums it fairly well. In the last two years I have seen a part of the church that we serve that I do not wish any one to see. I have learnt how people who call them selves Christians can play political games in the church that will make the politics in government look like a sunday school picnic. If you want to be a minsiter then first go and study political science!

I have seen how church people use other people as objects , to be used and discarded at a whim. No wonder a minister I know drives with a bumper sticker that says :"Lord please protect me from your people!"

This year, especially the last part sucked !!!

and the rebel in me does not want to write this next part :

But I know, through all of this God is still in control.

Pray for me... and my wife and my son. Pray for us. And pray for the church that is so caught up in politics and power struggles that love and mission is long forgotten.